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Grasping, it turns out, is just another form of doubt. The mind that is constantly evaluating – “How am I doing? Maybe there’s an on-again off-again relationship that just got switched on again. You have to ask yourself: He’s not calling because you broke some kind of Rule, or slept with him before the end of his three month probationary period, or maybe you ‘intimidated’ him by what you do for a living, or — gods forbid — One, and you don’t want to date him anyway. But when a date is no longer an exercise in expanding your social circle, meeting someone you might or might not be compatible with and/or attracted to – when it becomes a statement (at least in your own mind) about how loveable and desirable you are, a reflection on your worth as a person – it’s hard to grasp for a certain kind of outcome.
3 But on top of everything else, a divided mind is not attractive. Being at ease – and putting the other person at ease – is attractive.
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